Season 3 Episode 89: Relationships For The Modern Christian Part 2
, Pastor Newms
[0:00] Hello and welcome to episode season 3 episode 89 of the brand Manifesto faith hope and love for the modern Christian I'm Pastor Newms and, wow you look tired thanks my my eyes might be droopier than normal but that's that's mean the best fairy me so. Couple things you guys might notice some stuff if you are watching instead of listening if you're listening you won't notice anything of what I'm talking about and. 
[0:37] You should join us on Sunday nights and watch. You might notice this is a completely different room now you might not fully be able to tell but like. You see the things are hung up there the posters in a slightly different place there's less wall we are in a completely different part of the house with the help of the best, Phoenix zaidi both the girls. And my Biggs and myself doing very little work because I'm lazy. We moved my entire office from downstairs to upstairs the best you moved the thing that everything sits on up here with me. I understand that Biggs did the majority of everything let's be honest and Serafina was a huge help. And zaidi was a huge help, and Rayne was here as much as I could he moved the chair he moved this he helped move stuff out of my office while I was having a mild panic attack. 
[2:01] I think he did a little more. 
[2:06] You did nothing bullcrap to okay anyway so this week's been a little crazy um we. 
[2:14] Are getting ready for some changes in our house we're fixing to have a new roommate. And so because of that we've been moving rooms around we moved the girls room a little while ago we moved. The guest room we flipped the guest room and Seraphoina's old room we moved everything around. And we actually drilled holes in my house to run Internet upstairs, which that was an interesting experience today I had every all of my all of this setup sitting on a small table downstairs in case we didn't get the internet moved and up on time I would be at this like little tiny table in a room that is completely empty and would have been so echoing which the echo might be up here for now because this room is not finished but yeah we got lots of stuff hung. 
[3:22] Biggs hung, two of the puzzles that had not been hung yet which gives me motivation to complete the puzzle that is downstairs I'm hoping with the setup of this room this new office quote-unquote I might be able to pull off having a puzzle table up here don't know if I'm going to pull it off but that'd be really cool so we'll see but it's been a crazy week. Work is real busy got a lot going on at work but. Life is good life is good we've got some big changes next week I have no idea how I'm going to be next week because I am actually flying to DFW, helping my friend pack the truck and then driving out here on Friday and then Saturday and then so Sunday early, we'll be unloading the truck and bringing all his stuff. So that's going to be great he's gonna be around a lot more which is a lot of fun and so we're going to be good. 
[4:32] But life is crazy over the next couple of weeks and that's okay that is all. I have the hiccups that is okay all right I think I am sufficiently. Warmed up because I am I know I'm talking a mile a minute because I am. As the best said I am actually really tired. So we might get a little Pastor newms uncut if we're not careful today all right so now it's everyone's favorite time of the night except me. Get to know the pastor's where I'm going to pull my check card let's see what our question for today is our question for today is. If you had to change your first name what would be your new first name hahaha all right y'all this is the easiest one in this entire deck this is the easiest question because obviously my first name is not actually newms but yet. 
[5:35] That's what I call myself that's what my. Grant grandchildren I old I ain't that old that's what my godchildren call me that's what my wife calls me it's what my sister calls me it's what it's what everyone calls me except for in my professional life over here in the medical programming World other than that everyone calls me Tunes, and has four, over 20 years yeah even even my parents do on occasion my mother even does which is really funny when when Grandma Gloria does that's really funny anyway. My wife's parents call me I mean everyone calls me names and as you guys know you think I do it just in chat but I call Biggs Biggs all the time too that's just that's just normal and don't pay too much attention to my nails they're really bad for moving stuff all day and we did not have time to fix them but that's okay so just don't look too closely at my nails I'll move my hands really fast so that way that won't happen all right, so yeah I changed my name to newms it's a pretty pretty easy one my wife I can answer hers right off the bat, it would be z80 she loves 80. 
[6:59] Oh thank you Phoenix for saying that because they feel really really bad my girls I'm not sure for my girls what they would change their name to I'm pretty sure Sarah would actually change her name to Sarafina though I'm pretty sure she would, finish that in elongation and Rain might actually. Go with rain Phoenix says she would not call herself Phoenix and that's okay that's okay. 
[7:43] We have so many people with mr. groggy's first name in our lives. We have to call mr. gargi groggy all the time because of how much how many people we have that our has his first name. So that's fun sorry I just clapped in that echoed on there, and not a house not a housemate I don't understand what Phoenix. 
[8:32] Yeah it's a this is a softball question and that's okay that's okay I would really really be interested in in Pastor bills answer. 
[8:44] But that's that's that's hate it don't get it today okay so. We are sufficiently warmed up we are right at we're actually about a minute earlier than we normally are with our warm up because we're at 14 minutes but that's okay so I will recap last week so for one of the first times for me we have done a part two, so last. Week we talked about relationships for the modern Christian we talked about our spouses and we talked about our children we talked about our significant others, when's 80 walks around up here you can see here in the glare of The Boondock Saints poster which I didn't realize which is funny, but so we talked about spouses and how we should treat them and you know verses that are, used a lot and then taken out of context and taken too far and people only like to follow the first half and not the second half you have to go back and listen to get the full details mhm that's episode 88, eat for all those people out well 388 depending on how you listening we talked about our children and how we should, love our children and treat our children correctly and raise them correctly not just authoritative. 
[10:07] This how we have to have the give-and-take and we have to you know children have to be handled. Correctly and so we talked about that and then we were going to talk about friendship. But we talked a lot and we ran out of time so. I split it into 2 because we can do that if we get into a topic so the reason I wanted to include friendship so much in when we're talking about relationships overall is because of the fact that. 
[10:49] You don't crawl across floor just walk that is so distracting she's crawling across the floor. 
[11:01] All right so. Friendship so friendships are so important because let's be honest when you deal with relationships all the relationships we have in life spouse. We a lot of us only have one or a few in our lives children most of us have one two three. Some have you know upwards of 10 12 but you know most of us have just a few friendship though we deal with on a daily basis and, most people have more friends throughout their lifetimes then they will spouse or children so friendship is so important in Friendship is is. Some have you know friendship is one of those things where when we talk about friendship it's more than just friendship it's it's how we interact with people at while we are being friendly it's how we. 
[12:05] You know. The people we interact with how we should be doing friendship evangelism how we should be you know growing the community of people around us as Phoenix said there are some times in your life where you have none you have no friends at the moment. I know both Phoenix and zaidi have gone through long amounts of time like that, and Phoenix has built a nice little Community now for herself around her and, now that Sadie is working again she's making friends even though she won't admit to it, she's probably going right now but she has a promise see she said blah before I hat see I love my wife, so You know one of those things is in those friendships in those Community you meant Phoenix meant kids not friends that makes more sense because Phoenix has no kids except for nieces, and nephews of friends and you know. Her community I just kicked my computer that is not going to work where I've put it because I just kicked it hard so we're going to move that after stream. 
[13:20] He did not work okay so friendships so we really have to look at all these all these facets of people that come into our lives and how we should treat them and you know we have the story which is not in my notes at all but you have the story of you know how you treat your neighbors and treat your people around you and we deal with you know the. The person on the road the Good Samaritan you know when we look at the story of the Good Samaritan and I might have to look it up real quick what the reference is of it because I didn't have it pulled up for this so, when we look at something like that how should we. 
[14:10] How should we look at the Good Samaritan Luke 10 25 through 27 okay Luke. Luke 10. 
[14:28] Twenty-five to thirty seven so we're going to read in the csb and I don't have to type it out because I don't I don't have it in my notes 1025 through. 37 there was an expert of the lost it up testing him him being Jesus saying teacher what must I do to inherit eternal life. What is written in the law he asked him. How do you read it so Jesus asked him a question back and he answered he being the expert of the law. 
[15:03] Love the Lord your God with all your heart all your soul all your strength and with all your mind and your neighbor as yourself, Jesus answers you answered correctly he told him do this and you will live but wanting to justify himself he asked Jesus and who is my neighbor. Jesus Took up the question and said A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell in the hands of robbers they stripped him beat him and fled leaving him half dead, a priest happened to be going down that road when he saw him he passed by on the other side in the same way a levite, when he arrived at the place saw him and passed by the other side but a Samaritan on his journey came up to him when he saw the man he had compassion he went over to him bandaged his wounds pouring an olive oil and wine and then put him on his own animal, brought him to the end and took care of him the next day he took out two denarii gave them to The Innkeeper and said take care of him when I come back I'll reimburse you for whatever extra you had to spend, which of these three do you think was a neighbor. 
[16:17] To the man who fell in the hands of the robbers the one who showed Mercy to him he said Jesus said go and do the same now there's a couple things to look at here when we talk about neighbor and I'm going to equate neighbors and friends in some of this but then friends of course there's different layers or friendship but neighbors is that like Outer Circle of Friends like people that you should be friendly with but aren't friends like acquaintances almost, but in that those people we should even treat the this well so. 
[16:48] If you look at the Jews and you look at the Samaritans they did not like each other we've talked about that in the past another podcast they did not like each other at all not even a little and so. The fact that he the Samaritan took care of the man. Is huge so much so they didn't like each other when the man gave Jesus his answer he did not even say it was the Samaritan he said it's the one who showed him Mercy because he didn't want to admit, that in Jesus's story in the parable that he gave that. It was a Samaritan who did the good thing because we can't talk about that like it's got to be you know and so because of that. That's that's one example of like that Outer Circle and that's the Outer Circle that's just the person you walk up to on the street type of friendship so then we have you know, other types of friends as you get closer into your inner circle and we're going to cover a couple of those in this friendship, talk that we're having tonight and you know by talk I mean of course I'm talking and I'm hoping others are talking back to me and we're gonna go from there now it's big said in here. 
[18:16] They were inseparable that's the kind of friendship that's that inner circle friendship and we're going to talk about that in a couple of verses throughout down when we get down to the very bottom you know those people that are so close to you. So the first one we want to look at here is first Thessalonians 5:11 and so when we're looking at this. 
[18:40] 1st Thessalonians five. 
[18:47] 11 so this is talking to her about the day of the Lord and so it's talking he's talking to brothers and sisters you know in Christ he's talking to the whole thing and he says therefore. And we should always back up a little when he says therefore so we'll jump up to nine for God has not appointed us to wrath but to obtain salvation through Lord our Lord Jesus Christ who died for us that while we were. Awake or asleep we may live that whether we are awake or asleep we may live together with him therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you were already doing so, for the people in this decimal that's alone then Laika the people that Thessalonians was written to. Cuz we're not going to try to say that word again. Paul says hey you're doing it already you're encouraging each other keep it up it's so important and so that's one of those things you know we see an encouragement from Paul of hey you're doing it right I'm not even correcting you just keep it up you're doing good so we've got to continue to do that in our own lives so, one of the the next area I want to go to is Ecclesiastes. And in Ecclesiastes when we're looking at. 
[20:13] 47 through. Insert here in 7 and it says again I saw from. Fertility Under the Sun there is a person without a companion without even a son or a brother, and there was no end to all his struggles his eyes are still not content with riches who am I struggling for he asks and depriving myself of good things this to is feudal and a miserable task. 
[20:46] And we're going to keep going into nine two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts for if either Falls His companion can lift him up but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up also if to lie down together they can keep warm but how can one person alone keep themselves warm and if someone overpowers one person to can. Resist him a cord of three strands is not easily broken and that's kind of where it wraps up. This particular section then we move on to you know something about Kings but when we look at that you know this is the an Old Testament aspect of looking okay. You've got to have relationships people have to be in your lives otherwise you can't really. 
[21:36] Go at it so that's starting to talk about that close friendship of this is one of those examples of hey you should have someone who's close to you who can pick you up when you fall who can and. That aspect of you should have someone who can pick you up when you fall in order to have that you must be willing to pick other people up when they fall. It's a two-way street with situations like that you can't just be like arm going to do this and you're going to do this for me and that that's not friendship, friendship is both sides you have to be able to come together as it talks about like a rope you know three strands is best to strains is better than one you know when you start to curl that. 
[22:22] I just thought of a really funny example so I used to vape real have a real heavy and, like the competition coils and used to make my own wire you spend my own wire and make my own coils and if you ran one wire, and just ran it you know it would burn if it turns on and off on and off on and off no big deal if you ran. 
[22:50] Or you ran three I ran a fat one and two small ones and they would all become one, big thing and they would heat it different temperatures and The Taste would be phenomenal because of that that, that combined strength of the three wires together that that group of people we have that Community we have you know things like that is so important. So we're going to jump down to Kind of a Funny example that I found when I was researching this topic which is not super funny but it's funny if you know the situation which is job 6:14, and joke job's kind of an interesting book Job loses everything. And. His kids died his everything gets destroyed his farm his lands his Vineyard everything well then his he's got these friends that show up and, they blame him for all of it even though he was just and. 
[24:04] It's really funny because he did not have good friends. And so then right here he writes in 614 a despairing man should receive loyalty from his friends even if he abandons the fear of the Almighty. Even if this was my fault you should still be my friend and for one of these aspects the, it's funny because of the story but I pulled this also for the fact that when we're talking about friendship our Circle of Friends, does not have to be 100% Christian and shouldn't be if we believe in Friendship evangelism but it. Even if someone walks away if he abandons the fear of the almighty if they if they act a fool it doesn't matter we should still support our friends. That doesn't mean we have to. Help them with destructive things but we should always be there and be loyal and be bringing them up. Is in John and this is Jesus talking again John 1523. 
[25:32] John 15 note 1512 and 13 and in this area. 
[25:41] He's talking about how he is divine and you know different aspects of it. And right here he talks about this is my command love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this to lay down his life for his friends and then you know when we look at that. 
[26:07] Here we will actually continue on. Here in verse 14 he says you are my friends if you do what I command you I do not call you servants anymore because a servant doesn't know what his master is doing. I've called you my friends because I have made known to you everything I have heard from my father you did not choose me but I chose you I appointed you to go and produce fruit and your fruit shall remain so that whatever you ask of the father in my name he will give you this is what I command you love one another so I'm going to change that to through 17 yeah. 
[26:47] And you know I find it interesting here when he's given this Parable and then he's like no one in all seriousness like love each other. You should be willing to give your life for your friends and he's also alluding to the fact that he's about to give his life for. His friends and his people. And so we really have to look at that and take that to heart that whole aspect of you know, loving each other helping to bring each other up and you know this is still. 
[27:25] You know this is that middle area, between acquaintance and like best friend scenario but when the next thing we're going to look at here is in Proverbs so we're going back to the Old Testament, super jump to Proverbs to do Proverbs 17. And we're going to go 17 to 18. 
[27:59] This is a friend loves at all times and a brother is born for a difficult time now my sister, who is Phoenix knows that a brother is born for a difficult time, that poor girl has been put through it by her evil older brother but that's beside the point one without sense enters an argument and puts up security for his friend. One who loves to offend love Strife but one who builds a high threshold invites injury when his Twisted mind is not succeed when his sister speech will run a man father's a fool to his own sorrow father of a fool, has no joy you know we're continuing on through this but that that section that's so important is a friend loves at all times. One without sense and there's an argument and puts up security for his friend so a friend loves at all time but but. 
[28:57] We don't do crazy things that are detrimental to ourselves and our friends just because we're friends so like your friend owes a bookie a whole bunch of money. 
[29:10] Don't go put up your money just because. 
[29:17] Your boy is probably going to pay him off in the next few minutes. Cuz your boy might not so you have to don't bet against people just because if your friend is in the wrong. Don't just go and defend. You know if your friend you know you got two people they're arguing and they're like I bet you a hundred bucks that you know I've got seven kids. 
[29:43] And the guys like yeah I know you have eight and starts arguing with him. When your friend is being wrong and you just walk up you're like yep he's right he's always right put your money down no don't don't go into situations and harm yourself just because. You have a friend now on the flip side of course someone will give his life for his friends so we have to look at that there's some gray area there. Look at that a situational benefit basis you know is this healthy for my friend am I causing them harm. Am I causing them, you know it will do this make their lives better or worse you know sometimes we do have to look at situations like that but that's a case-by-case benefit basis that you have to take up with the Holy Spirit of when you should charge in and but, charge into the defense of your friend when they are wrong and you're just going to get yourself into more trouble and zadie you know zaidi said what how do you forget a kid exactly don't argue with someone when they're talking about how many kids they have when you don't know like it's you're going to lose unless. 
[31:08] You're the one guy off that old Arthur movie who didn't even named his kids he numbered them because he cared about them that little that guy might be wrong on how many kids he has but other than that it's probably not going to happen. So 
[31:26] You know in talking about friends and in talking about you know stuff like this there is something that we have to look at that is important, which is Proverbs 27:17 and this is probably. Maybe the most quoted verse when it comes down to. 
[32:03] What this means is you know if you've ever seen. You know a knife person who's working a knife person who's doing they rub you know against that iron bar to make it sharpen now to be clear just for anyone out here who knows this when you do that. It only gives you a little bit of a sharpness if you don't have that edge already made if you're not trying to be Sharp, it won't sharpen that's not going to sharpen it you have to use a wet stone but that's beside the point that's part of this though you should be surrounding yourself, you're close Inner Circle that that Circle that is like your best people they should be able to sharpen you you should both have a point you should both be trying to go the same direction, to a certain degree and you guys should there should be qualities that they can sharpen now does that mean every friend that is in that perfect circle is exactly like you and has the same goals in mind and is walking in the same no I have two best friends. One of them you all know is Pastor Bill one of them your meet again at some point and. 
[33:19] He is completely different. 
[33:23] You know him and Bill are Polar Opposites not fully but in a lot of ways but there are aspects that are exactly the same he helps keep me humble he helps keep me grounded he helps remind me that I have to love people, just like Pastor build us there's things that he sharpens Me on he challenges me professionally he challenges you know there are aspects, that he's pushing me towards and so you have to have in that inner group people who are going to challenge you people who are going to push you you just have Yes Men surrounding you or else you're not going to sharpen yourself you're going to end up, cut and dull meat all day and if you're cutting and cutting and cutting and you're the only one who is sharp or you're the only one who is trying you're going to end up duller, by the end of this is always this phrase you hear so often you know show me your friends and I'll show you your future and to a large degree. That's true if you don't have friends that are going to sharpen you then you will end up dollar. So you kind of have to you have to look at things like that it's so important and. 
[34:44] You know that's really all I got for this is we have to look at each other and we have to understand that. We are we are called to have friends as Christians we should not be doing life alone if you're in a church that doesn't have small groups find one if you don't have. A community set out to find one you know, checked which for random things that you like to do like Phoenix with building Legos and stitching things, you know there's a whole Community out there if people that are like that the internet has allowed us to connect with them so fine people that challenge you and and help build you up and, that's what we got to do we've got to do life together with our friends moving forward trying to be better. 
[35:41] So yeah find some friends love on each other. Be good to each other you know those things yeah those are important that's all I have. 
[35:57] So we love you guys. Yes and as Phoenix said you have to love yourself too which sometimes stinks but we have to try every day have to try so we love you guys we hope you guys have a great week, you guys be safe out there and until next time.

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